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Building a team “Family Style”

Building a team “Family Style” I come from a big Italian family. All four of my grandparents came to America from Italy (okay my Mom's father came from Sicily!). My extended family, just on my Dad's side (including aunts, uncles, cousins…), totaled almost 100 people. So I am very well versed on the concept of working together in groups. When I look at team building I think of it as ‘family building”. Here is what I mean: 1. First, think of the group as “Family” not a team. Family in this context is a group whose members are related in origin, characteristics, or occupation. So since you are related in occupation, you qualify as a “family” I’ve always considered my co-workers, clients and other business relationship as my “business family”. I have used this concept with organizations when I have served: as president, as committees chair and on committees/teams. I find it more powerful to think “family” versus team. 2. Find ways to get people to work/play together. You build stro
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7 Ways to Say No

7 Ways to Say No Going along with my theme from my last post "Not to Do List" I though I would reprint an article I wrote on ways to say "no!" I think many people struggle with telling others “No”. The reason they struggle is because they think they only have two choices. They can either say “yes” or “no”. I try to avoid “all or nothing” thinking. I believe that there are many alternative between the extremes. So here are several different ways I share with my clients on how they could say no: 7 Ways to Say No: 1) Say NO… with a straightforward explanation – “No, I’m uncomfortable doing that!” 2) Say NO… and give an alternative – “No. I can’t do that today, how about first thing in the morning?” 3) Say NO… and clarify your reason – Help them understand your position. Explain the why. “No. I can’t help you because I made commitment to my family to not work on weekends this month.” 4) Give Preface then Say NO… – “Each year we choose 3 charities to support and I am sor

Anti-New Year's Resolutions?

"Not To Do List" During this time of year, people starting thinking about making "New Year's Resolutions". I use to set New Year's Resolutions at the beginning of the year. Now I look at it differently. Every quarter I set and revisit my goals. I encourage my busy executive coaching clients to do the same. In addition to setting/revisiting new goals I ask my coaching clients to also create a "Not To Do List". Yes, I did say a "Not To Do List". Some of us (including myself) keep adding to our list and very seldom take the time to look at the list and ask, "What can I stop doing?" ACTION IDEAS Here are a few ways to make "Anti-Resolutions" and remove some of those goals on your list that no longer serve you: 1. Does it fit in with you current mission/vision of your organization? Is not, take it off the list. 2. Is it the best use of your time? Can or should someone else be doing it? If so delegate it 3. Does is bring va

Effective Leaders Are Positive

Effective Leaders Are Positive. A good leader understands the key role communication skills play in their success. Are you the type of leader that brightens up the room when you walk in or when you walk out?Effective leaders understand the importance of building good relationships. One way to do that is to be a positive force in the organization. Employees will take your lead. Be someone that people want to talk to not someone people have to talk to ACTION: Compliment others - Look for what others are doing right. It is easier to find fault. Find positive behaviors and reward those actions. What is reward is repeated. Write/talk about the success of your team, project, department or the industry in general. I am not asking you to neglect the challenges going on just to make sure you have a balanced view. Encourage others to be positive. Ask questions to elicited the good things others are doing. I will be sharing more areas that can help leaders communicate their messages more

Effective Leaders Summarize

A good leader understands the key role communication skills play in their success. Effective Leaders Summarize. A summary is a good way to close a dialogue. The longer or more complicated the message, the more important it is to summarize what was said. People tend to remember the most recent information presented. So in a longer conversation or meeting be sure to do a brief summary. This is also a great way to check for understanding. ACTION: An effective way to close a conversation or meeting is by going over the key points that were discussed. Either you can summarize or you can ask the others to summarize from their perspective. For any action that needs to be taken, be sure to mutually discuss deadlines for their completion. In the meantime, if you have any successes or questions about leadership communication let me know and I will share them with my readers. E-mail me by clicking here

Effective Leaders Are Other Focused

A good leader understands the key role communication skills play in their success. Effective Leaders Are Other Focused . The most important person in the conversation is the other person. “It’s all about me” is the mantra. The key here is it is not all about you... it is all about the other person . Find ways to focus on the other person in the conversation. For example, ask a question, bring up a current accomplishment of theirs (or their team/department)... ACTION Pay attention to how often you are "me" focused or "other" focused in your conversations. Keep a journal of what you notice. Here are a few questions to ask yourself: What drives me to the "Me" mode? How did I catch myself? How can I catch myself sooner? When I catch myself what can I do to shift to the "other" focus mode? (Hint - revisit this blog series for some tips...) In the meantime, if you have any successes or questions about leadership communication let me know and

Five Active Listening Skills

A good leader understands the key role communication skills play in their success. Talking is great but listening is where the real learning takes place. Here are five ways to become an Active Listener: 1. Do an Internal Summary - Concentrate on what is being said and try to summarize the main points in your mind. Listen to understand, not to respond. 2. Ask Questions - Yes this is part of being an "Active Listener." If you don’t understand, wait for a break, politely interrupt and ask a question. 3. Take Notes - Engage yourself by taking notes. 4. Timing - If it is not a good time to talk, say so. Reschedule when you will be more focused 5. Listen with Your Eyes - Eye contact helps you stay focused and to see the non-verbal part of the message. Any mismatched signals could give you more insight. (See blog post Effective Leaders Communicate Effectively! ) ACTION Try using some of these techniques in your conversations this week. The key is to catch yourself not paying atten