Skip to main content

Seven Ways to Say No...

This week in a coaching session with one of my CEO clients we talked about how to take more control over our time.

In our meeting, my client said that he wished he could say "NO" more often.

I think many people struggle with telling others “No”. The reason they struggle is because they think they only have two choices. They can either say “yes” or “no”.

I try to avoid "all or nothing" thinking. I believe that there are many alternative between the extremes.

So here are several different ways I shared with my CEO client that he could say no:

7 Ways to Say No:

1) Say NO… with a straightforward explanation - "No, I'm uncomfortable doing that!"
2) Say NO… and give an alternative - "No. I can’t do that today, how about first thing in the morning?"
3) Say NO… and clarify your reason - Help them understand your position. Explain the why. “No. I can’t help you because I made commitment to my family to not work on weekends this month.”
4) Give Preface then Say NO… - “Each year we choose 3 charities to support and I am sorry you are not one of those this year.”
5) Make an empathetic listening statement (let them down easy) then Say NO…. - "I can see this is important. I would like to have someone help, however all my staff is already committed to project A that is due next week."
6) Say YES BUT… - "Yes I can do Project B but not Project A"
7) Say YES AND… I nicer way to say yes but and it allows you to give them alternatives. "Yes I can help with the project, and I will need you to..."

Let me know how these work for you or if you have some other ways to set limits. E-mail me at Patrick@PatrickDonadio.com

Comments

Unknown said…
When we see the world only in terms of "black-and-white," we only recognize two options, one on either end of the spectrum. We fail to see, or be aware of, the "gray," or the options between the two extremes. The opportunity lies in the gray.

Jim Canterucci
www.MyPersonalBrilliance.com
Mon Mar 26, 08:26:00 AM 2007
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Building a team “Family Style”

Building a team “Family Style” I come from a big Italian family. All four of my grandparents came to America from Italy (okay my Mom's father came from Sicily!). My extended family, just on my Dad's side (including aunts, uncles, cousins…), totaled almost 100 people. So I am very well versed on the concept of working together in groups. When I look at team building I think of it as ‘family building”. Here is what I mean: 1. First, think of the group as “Family” not a team. Family in this context is a group whose members are related in origin, characteristics, or occupation. So since you are related in occupation, you qualify as a “family” I’ve always considered my co-workers, clients and other business relationship as my “business family”. I have used this concept with organizations when I have served: as president, as committees chair and on committees/teams. I find it more powerful to think “family” versus team. 2. Find ways to get people to work/play together. You build stro...
1 comment
Read more

7 Ways to Say No

7 Ways to Say No Going along with my theme from my last post "Not to Do List" I though I would reprint an article I wrote on ways to say "no!" I think many people struggle with telling others “No”. The reason they struggle is because they think they only have two choices. They can either say “yes” or “no”. I try to avoid “all or nothing” thinking. I believe that there are many alternative between the extremes. So here are several different ways I share with my clients on how they could say no: 7 Ways to Say No: 1) Say NO… with a straightforward explanation – “No, I’m uncomfortable doing that!” 2) Say NO… and give an alternative – “No. I can’t do that today, how about first thing in the morning?” 3) Say NO… and clarify your reason – Help them understand your position. Explain the why. “No. I can’t help you because I made commitment to my family to not work on weekends this month.” 4) Give Preface then Say NO… – “Each year we choose 3 charities to support and I am sor...
1 comment
Read more

Effective Leaders Summarize

A good leader understands the key role communication skills play in their success. Effective Leaders Summarize. A summary is a good way to close a dialogue. The longer or more complicated the message, the more important it is to summarize what was said. People tend to remember the most recent information presented. So in a longer conversation or meeting be sure to do a brief summary. This is also a great way to check for understanding. ACTION: An effective way to close a conversation or meeting is by going over the key points that were discussed. Either you can summarize or you can ask the others to summarize from their perspective. For any action that needs to be taken, be sure to mutually discuss deadlines for their completion. In the meantime, if you have any successes or questions about leadership communication let me know and I will share them with my readers. E-mail me by clicking here
Post a Comment
Read more